you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
