Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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