their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
