I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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