tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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