We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Say something about gay babies.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
