carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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