Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
