We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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