it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
