its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
