I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
