I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
