I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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