oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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