and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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