Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Even my vagina gasped.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
