Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
