dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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