If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
did i just pee glitter
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize