I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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