You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
