some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i out mim tonsoeep
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