How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
