there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's always time for handjobs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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