Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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