oh god the rape fog is back!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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