It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
