he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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