Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
