the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so explain again why im purple
no
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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