are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
