guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize