It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
