Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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