i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
NoShamevember. You game?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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