Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
