no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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