She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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