So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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