We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
