i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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