Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
