WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
