why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
