Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
