Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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