If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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