Soap is not a condiment
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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