if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
