doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
