Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Say something about gay babies.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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