Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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