I think i peed on brittanys purse
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
