Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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