Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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