Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
