Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
