Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
