i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
