I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
