my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
