She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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