I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently you make a good broom.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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