remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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