3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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