hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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