Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
