you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
